After sending the first draft of the Redemption script to Mandy I received feedback and constructive criticism in order to improve it.
Many changes were made to the first draft in order to tighten it and make more sense of it. Originally the script was five and a half pages but I managed to reduce it to four and a half pages. I did this by cutting out unnecessary dialogue at the beginning between Red and her mother (who the audience don’t hear) and removing actor’s directions which can just be told to the actors on the day of filming.
One of the hardest parts of telling the story is how the Gran shifts from human to vampire with no visual effects. At first we were going to look into asking the VFX course but nobody was able to help us when we did, so then I had to come up with a way of how she transforms. My idea was to have Red take a selfie with her Vampire Gran and in the picture is Gran in her different form. However, the idea got a bit too complicated and it didn’t have look right on camera so we scrapped it (the idea can be seen in the final script). Luckily we managed to resolve the issue in the edit using a cut to black and non – diagetic vampire sounds.
Below is a pdf of the final draft:
REDEMPTION 